loubear -
First - let's get one thing straight - YOU ARE NOT STUPID!
Yeast breads can take a heavy hand - pie crusts are much more delicate to work with. Some bakers will refrigerate their bowls and all their equipment to ensure working with a cold dough and they will even wrap in plastic and place in the fridge before rolling. Some bakers will also chill all the ingredients including the flour - which to me is a bad idea - cold fat congeals and flour can attract condensation creating lumps.
I don't do that - I just assemble, roll (or pat - depending on the recipe), fill and bake - and I am not bragging - but I have perfect pies all the time. I just use a lighter touch than I do with my yeast bread recipes.
There is controversy over the use of a food processor. Many old-time bakers do not like to use food processors because it is by "feel" that they make crusts. If you do use a processor - easy on the pulse button - try to "feather" it. Watch closely - as soon as it starts to form into a ball - remove from processor and finish.
Here's a few recipes for you to try:
This one is an old Amish recipe - it's makes a good single crust for those single-crust pies or crumb-topped pies:
Amish Pat in Pan Pie Crust
1 1/2 cups flour
3 tablespoons flour
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 tablespoons cold milk
Place flour, sugar, and salt in pie pan and mix with your fingers until blended.
In measuring cup, combine oil and milk and beat with a fork until creamy.
Pour all at once over the flour mixture. Mix with fork until flour mixture is completely moistened. Pat dough with your fingers, first up the sides of the pie plate, the across the bottom.
Flute the edges. Makes one single crust 8 or 9-inch pie.
Do not overmix; handle gently.
This is one that I use quite a bit! Takes no time - and it's a no-brainer!
MAMA'S NO-ROLL PIE CRUST
1 1/2 c. flour
1 t. sugar
1/2 t. salt
1/2 c., vegetable oil
2 T. milk (approximately)
Whisk flour, sugar and salt; add oil and milk; gently mix with fork until moistened.
Pat into pie pan - up sides and bottom.
Makes one 8 - 9-inch pie crust.
**the milk measurement is approximate - depending on the humidity/temperature and the condition of the flour - you may have to add a few drops more
Have you got a food processor?? If so, try this one:
Basic Shortcrust Pastry
2 cups flour
5 oz butter
2-3 tablespoons iced water
Process the flour and butter in a food processor until the mixture resembles fine bread crumbs.
While the motor is running, add enough iced water to form a smooth dough.
Knead very lightly then wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate for 30 minutes. When ready to use, roll out on a lightly floured surface until 1/8 in thick. Will line up to 10 in pie dish or tart tin.
baking blind: To bake blind?to produce a crisp tart shell ready to be filled with wet ingredients?top the pastry-lined tart-tin or tins with a piece of non-stick baking paper that extends past the edge of the tin. Fill with pastry weights or uncooked rice or beans. Place on a baking tray and bake in a preheated 350 degrees F oven for 10 minutes. Remove the weights and paper and bake for a further 5 minutes or until the pastry is golden.
This is a good crust:
Butter Pie Crust
1/4 c powdered sugar
1 c all-purpose flour
6 tb cold butter or margarine
3 tb ice water
2 c dried beans (for weight)
Makes one 8- or 9-inch crust
Combine sugar, flour and salt in bowl. Add butter and mix with pastry blender or fingertips until mixture resembles coarse meal. Add water. Gather pastry into a ball and pat into flat round. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill 1 hour.
On a lightly floured surface, roll pastry into a circle 1/8-inch thick and fit into a lightly greased pie pan. Trim edges evenly, then flute or crimp decoratively. Place in freezer at least 15 minutes while preheating oven to 425 F.
Line piecrust with greased waxed paper or parchment and fill with dried beans (to weigh down crust). Bake 15 minutes, until edges brown and crust is firm enough to support it. Remove paper and beans. Prick bottom of crust with a fork. For a partially baked crust, bake 5 minutes longer, until lightly browned. For a fully baked crust, bake 10 minutes longer, until completely browned.
This recipe is for a softer dough:
Cottage Cheese Pie Crust
1 cup flour
¼ cup low-fat cottage cheese
3 tablespoons butter flavored shortening
¼ teaspoon salt
Preheat oven to 475°.
Combine flour and salt.
Cut shortening into flour until mixture resembles coarse meal.
Mix in cottage cheese until it forms a soft dough. May use immediately or chill.
Roll dough between sheets of wax paper.
Fit into 9-inch pie pan.
Bake at 475° 6-8 minutes, until lightly browned.
This is also a good one - I use lard for this:
Flaky Pastry
6 oz. hard margarine or lard (must be no softer than butter)
8 oz. flour (pastry or all-purpose)
1/2 tsp. salt
cold water
Sift flour and salt into a bowl and cut in the fat with a knife, until pieces are about the size of peas. Add cold water, preferably no more than 5 tablespoons. The less water used, the better the pastry will be. Mix until almost blended, then turn out onto floured board. Gather in loose bits and roll to a rough rectangle. Fold ends in, rotate 90 degrees, and roll again. Fold ends in again, fold in half, and let sit for at least half an hour in the fridge before use. Handle as little as possible, never stretch, and use a sharp knife to cut.
and of course - I'm long-winded again:
Pastry and Filling
Pastry
When pastry is rolled too thin;
- it absorbs juices easily
- it may not brown well
- top crust softens when pie cools
- crust breaks easily.
When pastry is rolled too thick;
- it may not bake thoroughly.
When pastry is not properly fitted;
- it may not brown evenly on bottom
- air under crust causes bubbles, making crust uneven
- it may shrink during baking if stretched too much
- edge may become too brown if pastry is too far above pan.
Filling
When too much filling is used;
- juice may cook out into oven
- filling may not be thoroughly cooked
When too much sugar is used;
- it may be too sweet
- it may be too syrupy, possibly cooking out into oven
When too much thickening is used;
- filling may be pasty
When not enough filling is used;
- pie may be uneven in shape, lower in center than at sides
When not enough sugar is used;
- filling may be sour
- may be too thin to serve nicely
When not enough thickening is used;
- filling may be too juicy
- crust may soak
- pie is hard to serve.
** Always make open slits on your top crust before baking to let steam escape during cooking. This will also help prevent fruit pies from spilling over from sides.
I hope this helps.