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Funny Recipe

chubbyalaskagriz

New member
Okay all- I'm including this whacko recipe in my annual Christmas Card Newsletter this year. Check it out for a chuckle!

Miss Ruby-Claudetta’s Christmas Possum

Recipe taken from “Treasury of White Trash Cooking”
by: Ernest Matthew Mickler and Trisha Mickler

1 live possum
½ c. vinegar
Kitchen Bouquet
small jar persimmon jam
5 or 6 slices bacon
salt & pepper to taste
8-10 medium sweet potaters​

Now, Christmas possum is differnt from all other possum. It’s got to be caught- not killed, two weeks to a month before the cookin day. That’s right around late November. You can catchem in the hen house or up a ‘simmon tree, or in a trap. It don’t make no never mind, long as he’s caught live, ‘cause they got to be penned up so’s you can cleanem out. Feedem nothin but cornbread and milk. That’ll fixem up, fattenem out, and get rid of all them no good flavors. This makes possum as good as corn-fed pig. Then, when the time comes, killem quick, skin the rascal and git shed of all the insides.
Now you got a possum ready for cookin’. Sinkem in a ‘namel dish pan o’water and make sure he’s good and covered. Then add a half cup of vinegar and soak it in the icebox overnight. In the mornin drain off all the water and cut up the possum into rabbit pieces. Thata way the city folk’ll never know they eatin possum. An I’ma tellin ya it works. Boil the possum pieces in enough salted water ‘til it’s done, but not fallin off the bone. The timin depends on the age o’ the possum. Sometimes it’s ready in an hour- sometimes it’ll take two. When it’s done, fish out the pieces and drainem. That’ll git rid o’ just about all the possum grease. When it’s cool so you can handle it, rub the rabbit sized possum pieces with lotsa salt and pepper. Plenty. Then make a paste outta some Kitchen Bouquet and a jar a persimmon jam. I always make my jam just after the first frost ‘cause it’s sweeter that way- that is, if’n the possums ain’t got’em all. Just a teaspoon or two of Kitchen Bouquet stirred into the jam. Now, ifn you ain’t got ‘simmon jam, any light tastin one’ll do. Smear the stuff all over the pieces until you’ve gotem coated good. Lay on 5 or 6 slices salt pork or bacon and surround it with ya greased sweet potaters. Put in a hot oven and roast, covered for thirty minutes. Then uncover it and cook until it’s sizzlin browned but never burned (bout ‘nother thirty minutes). Spoon the juice up on it ever few minutes while it’s uncovered. I don’t think I know a soul that don’t surround their possum with sweet potaters, ‘cause it takes a good hour for’em to bake. Be extry shore ya possum is done. They ain’t nuthin worst than bein accused a serving half-baked possum!
 
Well- ther Kev -
y'no ya just posted dat der recpee handed down fur genrations in me famly. Been makin dem fine vittles for sum time and ya dang near let out me secret.
Dang y'uns tese days..................
next that l'il snot'll be givin' y'all my road kill recpees.....................
 
Well- ther Kev -
y'no ya just posted dat der recpee handed down fur genrations in me famly. Been makin dem fine vittles for sum time and ya dang near let out me secret.
Dang y'uns tese days..................
next that l'il snot'll be givin' y'all my road kill recpees.....................

I wondered Mama what you were going to come up with for this thread. Normally you post a bunch of relevant recipes so I was looking forward to seeing squirrel in aspic and porcupine suprise! :D
 
I wondered Mama what you were going to come up with for this thread. Normally you post a bunch of relevant recipes so I was looking forward to seeing squirrel in aspic and porcupine suprise! :D


Now you're askin' for it - LOL


Beaver tail
1 Beaver tail
Procedures:
1 Roast beaver tail over campfire, cut it open and pull the skin off.
2 (this makes a very rich meat).


Elephant Stew

1 elephant, medium size
2 rabbits, optional
brown gravy, lots

Cut elephant into small bite-sized pieces - this will take about two months.
Reserve the trunk, you will need something to put the pieces in. Add enough brown gravy to cover. Cook on kerosene stove for about four weeks at 465 degrees.

This recipe will serve 3,800 people, if more are expected, the two rabbits may be added. Do this only if necessary, as most people do not like to find "hare" in their stew.



DEEP FRIED ALLIGATOR

chop off the tail, bread or batter and fry!
 
Here are a couple recipes that will be good when the economy goes south a little more.

Potted Pigeons

4 pigeons
1 1/2 pints water -- or stock
1 stalk celery -- chopped
1 slice salt pork
2 teaspoons butter
2 teaspoons flour
salt and pepper -- to taste

Clean and truss the birds as for roasting. Chop up the pork, fry out the fat and brown the birds. Put pigeons in a casserole dish, add celery, seasoning and stock. Cover tightly and cook about 2 hours. Put birds on serving dish, thicken gravy with flour and butter rubbed together. Remove celery, and pour gravy over birds.

-------------------------------
Stewed Squirrels

2 squirrels
2 quarts boiling water
1/2 pound fresh corn
1/4 pound lima beans -- fresh
3 tomatoes -- chopped (3 to 4)
1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
2 potatoes -- in chunks (2 to 3)
1/2 onion -- sliced
salt and pepper -- to taste
3 Tablespoons butter

Cut the squirrels into pieces. Put into the boiling water along with the rest of the ingredients, except the butter. Cover and simmer for about 2 hours; add the butter and simmer another 15 minutes. Bring to a full boil, remove from stove and serve. By the way, grey squirrel is even better than red squirrel, and they are both better tasting when hunted in fall. Young squirrels may be fried.
 
FRIED MUSKRAT

1 muskrat
2 medium onions
salt and pepper

Skin and remove the musk gland from the "rat". Immerse in a kettle of water. Chop and add both onions. Salt and pepper to taste. Parboil until a scum is no longer produced. Drain off water, leaving onions with the muskrat. Add more water and parboil again until tender. Remove and fry as you like in a skillet.


Fried Squirrel

Rinse skinned squirrel in cold water and pat dry. Dip in buttermilk and then in seasoned flour, and fry in hot fat. If the squirrel is young, steaming is not necessary. Otherwise, drain off excess fat and add a cup of water and steam covered.

Make gravy in the frying pan by adding leftover seasoned flour and milk or water. Serve with biscuits and wild plum jelly.
 
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Of all these Fried Alligator Tail is my favorite!!! And next would be CanMan's Stewed Squirrels!!! And just for the record the best Fried Gator Tail can be found at a charming little restaurant in Florida [town near Micanopy, Florida and Ocala National Forest] called "The Yearling" simply the best food in all the world. And yep the book was written and based upon the local area:) And do not forget all you Southerners out there when the economy continues southward there is always Heart of Palm for some terrific salads!
 
Ha! You guys are a HOOT! I figgered I'd get us all into a heckuva pickle with this one- and Lordy if I weren't right!

Gonna go home after work this morning and look up the recipe for a Hippo Sandwich that's in Shel Silversteins "Where the Sidewalk Ends"- his first book of children's poetry. It's a good'un!
 
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