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Fresh Road Kill

C

Cook Chatty Cathy

New member
On our way home from vacation today we had a little adrenaline rushing experience:

We were clipping along at a pretty decent speed and the next thing you know but what to our wondering eyes did appear but a beautiful Tom turkey! A Big ole' sucker and here we are just ripping the road up and 2 cars are in the opposite lane and a nice deep ditch beside us so my fiance' (the driver) did what any smart man would do lifted his foot off the accelerator and braked gently and positioned the car to hit sucker Tom dead center with the front bumper Tom went down and under (and I don't mean Austarlia) and out and over into opposing traffic and was carried away by that car that hit him next. We both startled by the whole scene of unfolding events looked at each other and said "damn that would've been so good smoked"!:D

The only evidence is a nice dust spot on the front bumper!!! Those darn turkeys love to roll around in the dirt!


Glad it wasn't a deer!

Anyone out there who has some more harrowing road kill experiences????
 
IF I have to go to Wal Mart I go either very early or very late. I dont like crowds and its hard to get whats on my list and make sure someone doesnt plow over Jon. People around here are so rude they will actually blow their horn for you to hurry up so they can have your parking place while your loading your car.

Jon always hangs onto the handle of the buggy and I pull the front. I always make sure that we are over to the side if I stop to get something and I cannot tell you how many times I have turned around after getting something from a shelf to see some rude person trying to crowd him out with their buggy. One lady got so close one day she smacked his knuckle. I was like hey he cant see you coming. Wait your turn just like everyone else. People do the same stupid stuff at all the Wal Marts. Sitting in their cars while someone is loading their purchases holding up a dozen cars behind them waiting on parking places makes me furious. It is beyond rude and inconsiderate.:mad: OR trying to back out of your space and there is someone behind you blocking you because a person near you is leaving and they are waiting on their space.

On our way back home I round a corner doing 55 and there is an entire herd of deer standing about and one in particular in front of my headlights. There was atleast a dozen of them on my side of the road within feet of the car and the one right in front when I had slammed on my breaks. I didnt want to blow the horn and startle them all into doing who knows what so I backed up and eased around the one in the road which seemed frozen by my headlights.

They had a deeer actually jump at the side of a loaded moving school bus a week or so ago and cause it to wreck.
 
OMG! Reminds me of the day I was driving on the main highway doing 65 in the passing lane in bumper to bumper traffic!

Worst day of my life!

A pheasant did a kamikazee into my grill and feathers flew all over the place! I couldn't hit my brake, I couldn't change lanes - I was hysterical. Finally one very kind gent let me move to the curb lane and I was able to turn into a gas station.

Mind you - Mama can't take feathers! Not at all!!

In my hysteria - the gas station attendant wanted to know what I wanted and I couldn't even get myself together to tell him - I'm pointing to my grill and telling him to get the bird out!

Other than the fact that he thought I was a total loon - he humored me and walked to the front of my car - looked at my grill and said LADY - THERE AIN'T NO BIRD HERE - and I told him to check inside under the hood because I knew it was in there.

Once again he humored me. Same line - LADY......

Needless to say - Mama made a complete a$$ of herself that day (and many others as well) and didn't go back to that station for many years.

The End.
 
PS - never knew a bird to have so many feathers - worse than a total white out in the middle of winter - couldn't see a thing!
 
lol..I needed a laugh Mama. Thank you.
Your story reminded me of when I was on the interstate behind this truck hauling a big sheet of window glass. It broke and showered my car with glass. Kinda wrong to throw glass at a couple of Glass's. :D
 
My goodness deer - pheasant - turkey's all wild and free to go wherever, but my gosh glass that one would've really rocked my world and scarred me half to death! Mama your story is hilarious:D

I do believe we just catch a break now and then Literally, get it a break (glass):eek:

And JG I can not stand the totally awful apmoshere at Wal-Mart it sickens me! I refuse to shop there and travel across town just to shop elsewhere! Common courtesy is a very rare thing these days I am afraid!
 
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Yeah it seems people think its ok to behave rude when they are out and about these days. If someone is sitting and waiting on my space I load my stuff and go back in the store. I try and have a bit of humor about most things but that makes me pretty mad.

Did I mention the guy at Sams eye center goes out to lunch everytime he sees Jon and I. He over heard me trying to get Jon to sit for an eye exam because their sign said they guarantee they could improve ANYONE's eyesight. There was a man at WalMart one day with a sign that he was selling GLASS cleaner. He said to leave your glasses with him and come back in 10 min and they would be clean. I was gonna leave Jon with him lol.
 
My sis and her hubby do silly things like you & Jon, you all have such a twisted sence of humor!!! Naughty children; no wonder the guy runs the other way when he sees you coming:D

Steve (my Bro-in-law) cracked us up really bad one time, we went to a wine and cheese tasting event, well we were just enjoying ourselves eating cheese and crackers, fruit and drinking wine and all of the sudden Steve says "Wow this is bad cheese"! He was eating a piece of Havarti the rind and all, and he was being polite and swallowed the whole thing before he said a word. The 3 of us cracked up, Steve has such a terrific personality and can laugh at the little things! Mary & I were like mortified for a few seconds & and he got us to laughing & giggling about it so hard we were afraid we were going to make a scene!

When I attended the Ntl. Fed. of the Blind (NFB) convention with them in Dallas/Ft. Worth we 3 had such a splendid time together, I have never laughed so much in my life!
 
I was at a local mall - mind you - I hate going to the mall - all the idiots go there and they park their cars forever and they take up all the seats, sit in the food court with a cup of coffee and they don't shop! These people need a life. You can't sit for a minute with a ton of parcels because they plant themselves and stay there - watching people.

So I got a great parking space one day - first one by the door. You can watch these jokers drive around the parking lot for 2 hours trying to get a good spot. Dumbasses.

It was Christmas time - I had a lot of bags - I couldn't stop to rest because of the non-shoppers - so I took my things to the car. I was exhausted and I really wanted to go home and have some tea.

I had 4 cars waiting for me to move. Talk about crash-up derby! I could not believe it. They left me no room to pull out.

So I got in the car, started it up, got out, cleaned off the car of all snow, got back in and warmed up. Then I pulled out a book and shut off my motor and proceeded to read my book.

Boy did I get called all kinds of names. One guy actually sat there for over a half hour waiting for me to move my car. He finally moved his - he was so sure I would be pulling out. (in the mean time he missed many spots!) So I pulled half way out and he saw it in his mirror. As he drove like a jerk around the row of cars to get my spot - I slowly pulled back in and got out of the car and went back into the mall. I stood at the door looking out for about 20 minutes.

Then I went back out. Same scenario. So I had to brush my car off again - clean the wheel wells of snow and warm up the car. And I shut off the motor again and pulled out my book again.

A woman walked up to me and asked if I was pulling out - I told her I was staying put and waiting for someone who was shopping. She told me to go park somewhere else so I can watch for them from a distance.

I politely told her to kiss my a$$.

She called me a b*tch.

So I spent the next hour or so in the car - warming it and reading my new book.

I did the same thing they do - they didn't like it.



Another thing that ****es me off (here I go!) - people parking in handicapped parking that are not handicapped. I purposely blocked one guy who was sitting in his car waiting - his wife was only exchanging something. Tough tittie! Don't park in handicapped for your convenience.
So I parked right behind him - about an inch from his vehicle. Put up my sticker and ignored him calling me.
His wife was on her way out and he's telling her to tell me to move so he can get out.
I told her that I'm just going in for a minute - you know what that is like. I'll be right out. And I took my time. So they came in the store to find me and first fight with me to move my car or they will have it towed, then they asked nicely when the store manager (who is a friend of mine) asked me what was wrong.
Guess who got a ticket?
Not me - I knew the cop.
But he did.
And this man blessed me so much that day!!! LOL I don't think he likes me very much.

And he's not the only one I've parked practically on top of! I do it almost daily at an area convenience store. When will people learn?
 
Hey - what can I say??? It's all those "family" movies (Godfather, gangsters, etc!) I just may have to start bringing my "just add water/quick dry" "shoe-polish" with me! LOL
 
Mama you absolutely rock. I love it!

Cathy I always tease Jon his humor is a result of multiple head injuries and mine is from being under a bad influence for the past ten years.
 
It's like I tell people, Janie, there is something good in everyone. If nothing else, they can serve as a bad example. :D
 
I want that on a tshirt KYH.
Yep..gonna have to have that one on a shirt.

I have noticed alot of people who work in the public are surprised when someone comes through their line or deals with them who isnt a grouch or snarling over something. You can see a bit of a suprised look when you practice basic politeness. Its sad. I heard something once on a commercial that said treat people like they are in your heart and not in your way. I really like that but most people make it very hard.
 
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For the ultimate in a surprised look, watch what happens when you say "good morning" to the toll taker on a highway.

The last thing they expect is basic courtesy.

And, just to keep the record straight, and although I hate to admit it, I learned that toll takers are people from a Yankee.
 
There's one T-shirt I've always threatened to have made up as gifts. Just haven't been able to find the right graphics.

But the legend says, "World Class B**ch!

I've got a list, I do, of women entitled to one of them. But not my sister. She gets two.
 
O-o-o-o-o that's a bad one!!!! Your poor sis!!! Well wee must all have at least one like that, I lucked out and got 2!!! And I only have 3 sisters total & 1 brother!
 
Like I've said for years - keep a smile on your face at all times and make everyone wonder just what the hell you've been up to!
 
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