D
dianncy64
Guest
My father was a functional alcoholic, he worked, and it was hard to tell when he was drunk, many times he was working drunk and no one knew the difference, he drank vodka.
My mother could not, absolutely not handle her alcohol, she was light weight and you could tell she was drunk by looking at her eyes ~ I called them dead eyes, vacant and nothing there. She was child like and melancholy and quite a pain ~ the worse was once she passed out on the front lawn and kids were walking to school past our house and saw her.
My father always drank, my mother, when we were young, kept it down but.. in 1976, when her mother died, the very day, she was out in the open with it and really it was shocking ~ bad enough my grandmother died (the only real mother I ever knew, and she lived with us) but I witnessed my mother out of control drunk for the 1st time, I was 11 in 1976. After that day until we moved to AZ in 1981, she was drunk daily. It's no wonder I ran off and got married at 16 and had a baby too. We all bailed when we got the chance and all except one, before the age of 16yrs ~ that is sad.
Our house hold was always angry, dysfunctional, accusatory, fighting and promoting fighting, sadness absolute sadness.
I have to say after the age of 11 yrs old, I rarely had good memories of my parents but before then.... It was a whole different world, great in fact, and I severely hold onto those memories ~ because we were a real family then.
My mother died in 1991 of lung cancer at 57yrs and my father died in 1997 at 68 yrs old of tongue cancer ~ both due to their excessive smoking and drinking.
I miss them though, because when we moved to AZ, my parents separated and my mother stopped drinking but drank excessively ONLY when my father came from NJ to visit, 1 or 2 times a year, and we think she did it on purpose so everyone could blame my father and feel sorry for her, but it never ever worked out that way, it just made us distance our selves from her. At the end of her life I talked to my mother about her years of drinking and what it did to me and she just said that she'll have a lot to answer for 8 yrs of drinking (it was more like 15 yrs but she never admitted to it) and she never said she was sorry for it to me or anyone else. But my father on the other hand, talked about it, really was genuinely sorry and he did his best and too he was really sincere and when she passed my father became the father I knew when I was little and those last 6yrs were so great and I cherish them ~ really I do.
My parents were very much oil and water when alcohol was involved but on rare days when the had no alcohol they were the ideal parents ~ weird huh. Alcohol is destructive and worse to imbibe with children involved ~ if they only drank a little here and maybe there, but their whole world wrapped around it ~ I just can't comprehend that mind set ~ not ever again ~ I am so fortunate that Clark doesn't care for drinking ~ maybe a beer one a year ~ it that, he had a similar experience growing up and feels about alcohol like I do.
My mother could not, absolutely not handle her alcohol, she was light weight and you could tell she was drunk by looking at her eyes ~ I called them dead eyes, vacant and nothing there. She was child like and melancholy and quite a pain ~ the worse was once she passed out on the front lawn and kids were walking to school past our house and saw her.
My father always drank, my mother, when we were young, kept it down but.. in 1976, when her mother died, the very day, she was out in the open with it and really it was shocking ~ bad enough my grandmother died (the only real mother I ever knew, and she lived with us) but I witnessed my mother out of control drunk for the 1st time, I was 11 in 1976. After that day until we moved to AZ in 1981, she was drunk daily. It's no wonder I ran off and got married at 16 and had a baby too. We all bailed when we got the chance and all except one, before the age of 16yrs ~ that is sad.
Our house hold was always angry, dysfunctional, accusatory, fighting and promoting fighting, sadness absolute sadness.
I have to say after the age of 11 yrs old, I rarely had good memories of my parents but before then.... It was a whole different world, great in fact, and I severely hold onto those memories ~ because we were a real family then.
My mother died in 1991 of lung cancer at 57yrs and my father died in 1997 at 68 yrs old of tongue cancer ~ both due to their excessive smoking and drinking.
I miss them though, because when we moved to AZ, my parents separated and my mother stopped drinking but drank excessively ONLY when my father came from NJ to visit, 1 or 2 times a year, and we think she did it on purpose so everyone could blame my father and feel sorry for her, but it never ever worked out that way, it just made us distance our selves from her. At the end of her life I talked to my mother about her years of drinking and what it did to me and she just said that she'll have a lot to answer for 8 yrs of drinking (it was more like 15 yrs but she never admitted to it) and she never said she was sorry for it to me or anyone else. But my father on the other hand, talked about it, really was genuinely sorry and he did his best and too he was really sincere and when she passed my father became the father I knew when I was little and those last 6yrs were so great and I cherish them ~ really I do.
My parents were very much oil and water when alcohol was involved but on rare days when the had no alcohol they were the ideal parents ~ weird huh. Alcohol is destructive and worse to imbibe with children involved ~ if they only drank a little here and maybe there, but their whole world wrapped around it ~ I just can't comprehend that mind set ~ not ever again ~ I am so fortunate that Clark doesn't care for drinking ~ maybe a beer one a year ~ it that, he had a similar experience growing up and feels about alcohol like I do.
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